Drugi stosi III

[nts]

...

[-pero-]

Man of the year...

aja! tip fajla morte spremenit iz txt v .pps

Man_of_the_year_Awards.txt

[Zok]

:? :D

[Nearrain]

Kaj je rdeča kapica v resnici rekla volku.....

VUČE, POGREŠIO SI U JEDNOM SLOVU - TREBALO JE DA ME POJEDEŠ!!!

trudna crvenkapa

[Zok]

[Zok]

[-pero-]

:unsure:

[gregas]

Salamonc v beogradu...

[-pero-]

...eni smo to že vidl ampak dobra fora...

.txt spremeni v .pps

Janezek.txt

[AlterMann]

Objašnjava policajac major kadetima sta je to joint:

"Vidite, ti narkomani koriste papir u koji stave pola trave i pola

duvana iz cigarete pomešane zajedno, a umesto filtera umotaju komad

kartona...Kada od toga naprave joint, dobro poližu papir da se ne

raspadne i na kraju uvrnu vrh u oblik špica..."

Na to če jedan od skroz zanemelih kadeta kojima je priča bila jako

interesantna: "I šta onda?"

Policajac major se malo zamisli i na kraju reče:

"Jebem li ga, kako se posle ubodu u venu, to ne znam..."

[SiR]

Top Ten Reasons ...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Top Ten Reasons for being a Serb

1. You are not a Croat.

2. Basketball team.

3. You can choose between several war criminals in Presidential elections.

4. You can enjoy the positive media coverage of your country when abroad.

5. You can fight 600 year-old battles against the Turks and their domestic collaborators, be convinced that it's

happening right now, and not be entirely wrong.

6. You can always go to Greece and Cyprus and fear nothing.

7. Grilled meat and slivovitz.

8. You get to drink slivovitz and eat grilled meat even when under economic sanctions.

9. You are the only European country which will be bombed by NATO.

10. Every now and then you get to fly to the Hague at someone else's expense.

Top ten reasons for being a Croat:

1. You're not a Serb

2. Soccer team.

3. You get to pretend that your language is different from Serbian, although it's really not.

4. Dubrovnik.

5. You get to dream about independent Croatia.

6. Every now and then you get to sing "Danke, Danke, Deutschland," and continue to dream about independent

Croatia.

7. You have a thousand-year culture of which no one has heard.

8. You have a democratically elected President who is not ashamed of being a Croat.

9. The glorious World War Two past.

10. You have a thousand-year culture....

Top ten reasons for being Bosnian:

1. You can get asylum anywhere except in Serbia.

2. You can pretend that your state exists.

3. Kebab.

4. You can pretend that Sarajevo is a really cosmopolitan European city when you know that it is not.

5. Great kebab.

6. You can be visited by Francois Mitterand, Bernard Henry-Levy, Susan Sontag, and Bill Clinton and it still

doesn't make a difference.

7. Free round-trip to any Moslem country.

8. You get to be bombed by a psychiatrist.

9. You can fly your flag in the UN but nowhere else.

10. Foreigners give you money and don't ask any questions.

Top ten reasons for being Slovenian.

1. You can speak the beautiful Slovene language and know that no one cares except you.

2. You can feel superior to all former Yugoslavs.

3. You can drink after work.

4. You can pretend to live on the "sunny side of the Alps," although you know it's not that sunny.

5. You can pretend that you are as good as any German while secretly enjoying the fact that you are a Slav.

6. Good relations with Italy and Austria.

7. You can afford to be Yugo-nostalgic.

8. You can marry a Slovene and have Slovene children who speak Slovene.

9. You don't have to be ashamed when abroad.

10. No one bothers you because no one really cares.

Top ten reasons for being Macedonian.

1. You can call yourself Macedonian and not get killed by a Bulgarian, Greek, Serb or Albanian.

2. Fresh tomatoes, watermelon and tobacco.

3. You can pretend you are a descendant of Alexander the Great and piss off the Greeks.

4. You get to be sad and suffer while listening to folk music.

5. Good relations with your neighbors, especially Greeks and Albanians.

6. American soldiers on your territory.

7. You get to call your country The Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia.

8. Fresh tomatoes, watermelon, and tobacco.

9. You can successfully pretend your language is not Bulgarian.

10. Everyone is interested in the stability of your country except your neighbors.

Top ten reasons for being Montenegrin.

1. You can be proud of your heroic past and not being conquered by the Turks for 500 years.

2. You can sing epic songs about your heroic past and not being conquered by the Turks for 500 years.

3. You can think of Russia as your Mother, although Russia does not know you are her son.

4. You can combine orthodoxy with Stalinism with love of Russia and still think that you are better and more

progressive than the Serbs.

5. Goat cheese, grilled lamb, and grappa.

6. You get to kill at least one person in a vendetta and defend your honor.

7. If you are a woman you can kill your husband and everyone knows why you did it.

8. You can smuggle cigarettes to Italy and live like a king.

9. You don't have to work even when you have to.

10. You don't have to work....

Top ten reasons for being Albanian.

1. You can always swim to Italy.

[kekec III]

http://www.policija.si/si/kriminal/ukraden...a/uv_prikaz.php

[SiR]

RAbi kdo službo? :)

[-pero-]

...zmer se kak prost mest najde...pa pripravniške ni teba delat :rolleyes:

[ID]

http://www.vecer.si/vecer2003/default.asp?...003082100460085

[-pero-]

...

[Ganges]

CIA najame nekaj ljudi, ki bi za njo opravili umor. V ožji izbor prideta 2 moška in 1 ženska. Po krajšem pogovoru z njimi jim dajo v roke pištolo in jih postavijo pred kovinska vrata. Rečejo 1 moškemu: "Notri na stolu sedi tvoja žena! Da preizkusimo tvojo zvestobo in zanesljivost moraš vstopiti in jo ubiti!" Moški reče: "Kaj???!!! Tega jaz ne zmorem!". Tako ga pošljejo z ženo nazaj domov. Na vrsto pride 2 moški in dobi enaka navodila. Vstopi skozi vrata, ven pa ni slišati niti glasu. Čez nekaj časa pride ven in reče, da tega ne more storiti. Tudi njega pošljejo domov z ženo. Nazadnje pride na vrsto še ženska in tudi dobi enaka navodila, da mora ubiti moža. Vstopi skozi vrata in čez nekaj trenutkov zunaj slišijo več zaporednih strelov. Potem nekaj časa tiho, nakar sledi razbijanje, kričanje, lomljenje,... Čez nekaj časa pride ženska ven in reče: "madona v nabojniku so bili slepi metki pa sem ga morala s stolom zatolči!" ;)

[devilish]

So se enkrat v soli pogovarjali kaj je najhitrejse na svetu.

Rece Marjetka: Zvok.

Uciteljica: Ne Marjetka ni zvok. A ve kdo drug?

Lojzek: Svetloba.

Uciteljica: Ne Lojzek ni svetloba.

Jozek: Misel, misel je najhitrejsa.

Uciteljica: Bravo Jozek, pravilno.

Janezek pa se namrsci in dvigne roko. "Se nekaj je hitrejse od misli."

Uciteljica: Kaj pa naj bi bilo hitrejse od misli?

Janezek: Ne vem, ampak verjetno mamica ve. Ker danes ponoci sem slisal kako je mamica rekla atiju. DANES MI JE PA PRISLO HITREJE KOT SEM MISLILA. :D

[devilish]

Gre mujo v gostilno in se stepe z enim Japoncem. Ta ga čisto nalomi in mujo vpraša:" Pa kva je to?"

J:"Neki japonskega, karate"

Mujo jezen, gre trenirat v fitness in se vrne cez en mesec. Spet jih dobi povsod in mujo vpraša:" Pa kva je to?"

J:"Neki japonskega, ninpo"

Pride mujo naslednji dan in nalomi japonca.

J:"Kva je pa to?!"

M:"Neki japonskega... ketna od Kawasakija!" ;)

[AlterMann]

For those of you who watch what you eat... Here's the

final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to

know the truth after all the conflicting medical

studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer

heart attacks than the British or Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer

heart attacks than the British or Americans.

3. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer

fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine

and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or

Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of

sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than

the British or Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking

English is apparently what kills you.

[SiR]

Putovale Francuskinja, Njemica i Fata na godisnji odmor u Spaniju. Kad su

stigle na aerodrom dodje Francuskinja na carinsku kontrolu i carinik je

pita:

- "Dobar dan imate li sto za prijaviti?"

- "Nemam." odgovori ona.

Carinik ce na to:

- "Nadam se da nemate nista protiv da pogledam u vasu torbu."

Otvori, pogleda i u njoj nadje 6 pari tanga gacica.

- "Zasto bas 6?" upita je on.

- "Paa jedne za ponedeljak, jedne za utorak, jedne za srijeda, jedne za

cetvrtak, jedne za petak, jedne za subota a nedjelja je vive la France."

- "Ajde prolazi" odgovori on.

Dodje Njemica, opet sve isto samo sto je u njenoj torbi nasao osam

gacica.

- "Pita zasto bas osam?", a njemica ce na to:

- "Alzo ponedeljak, utorak, srijeda, cetvrtak, petak, subota, nedjelja,

und jedne ekstra jer nikad se ne zna".

Pusti i on nju da prodje. Dodje Fata na red, a u torbi 12 ogromnih

bijelih gaca. Pita nju carinik:

- "Pa dobro zasto bas 12?!!"

A Fata ce:

- "Pa bolan jedne za januar, pa onda februar, pa mart, april, maj...."

[kekec III]

Lepega dne je umrl en hacker .

Pride pred nebeska vrata, od tam pa so ga napotili v pekel.

Cez stiri dni Lucifer telefonira v nebesa in nadere sv. Petra:

-Kaj ste mi zadnjic podtaknili?!! Tip je razstrelil vse kotle, podavil vse hudice, zdaj pa ze tri dni laufa naokoli in sprasuje,kje je prehod na naslednji level.

:hmm:

[SiR]

love is in the air :D

[SiR]

hehe

[SiR]

:(