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Drugi stosi III


Ice

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Majhna siva celica se slucajno znajde v mozganih moskega.

Vse je temno, prazno in brez zivljenja.

Huhuu?, klice mala siva celica. Ni odgovora. Ponovno klice

Huhuu?.

se vedno je vse tiho.

Nenadoma se prikaze druga siva celica in vprasa: Kaj pa ti tukaj

delas tako sama? Pridi z menoj, mi smo vsi spodaj! :lol1:

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Francoz, Anglež in Srb se prijavijo v agencijo CIA za tajne agente...

Po vseh prestalih preizkusih maskiranja, špijunaže, borilnih veščin, sledi zadnji preizkus in sicer "likvidacija" ženske-špijonke(njihova agentka v preobleki), ki jim jo je nastavila CIA... Dajo jim pištolo z slepimi naboji(rekruti tega ne vedo) in najprej pošljejo v sobo za zaslišanje Angleža. Ko on zagleda žensko, si reče to je zame preveč, ženske ne morem ustreliti... Pa pošljejo Francoza... Ta nameri, vendar si premisli in tudi reče, da ženske pa ne more fentat... Pa Pride na vrsto Srb, pograbi pištolo, gre v sobo, zaloputne vrata, nato začne pokat, treskat, burka, vik in krik... čez pet minut pride Srb ven ves zadihan, okrvavljen in pravi: Mamicu mu :fight2: , kdo mi je dal slepe naboje, babo sm mogu pokončat z stolom!!

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Man and His Penis

A man went to his doctor and asked him how to prolong the lovemaking experience. The doctor told him that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer, extending the pleasure for them and their partner.

The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it."

He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe. Finally, he came up with a plan.

On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck.

Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate. He closed his eyes and thought of his lover.

As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?"

He heard, "This is the police. What's going on down there?"

The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted."

Came the reply, "Well, you might as well check your brakes too while you're down there, because your truck rolled down the hill five minutes ago."

:lol1:

Ladies Rooms

A man traveling by plane and in urgent need to use the mens room is nervously tapping his foot on the floor of the aircraft. Each time he tried the mensroom door, it was "OCCUPIED". The stewardess, aware of his predicament suggested that he go ahead and use the ladies room, but cautioned him against using any of the buttons inside. The buttons were marked "WW, WA, PP and ATR".

Making the mistake that so many men make in disregarding the importance of what a woman says, the man let his curiosity get the best of him and decided to try the buttons anyway.

He carefully pressed the first button marked "WW" and immedately warm water sprayed all over his entire bottom. He thought, "WOW, the women really have it made!". Still curious, he pressed the button marked "WA" and a gentle breeze of warm air quickly dried his hind quarters. He thought that was out of this world! The button marked "PP" yielded a large powder puff which delicately applied a soft talc to his rear. Well, naturally he couldn't resist the last button marked "ATR".

When he woke up in the hospital he panicked and buzzed for the nurse. When she appeared, he cried out, "What happened to me?! The last thing I remember is I was in the ladies room on a business trip!" The nurse replied, "Yes, you were having a great time until you pressed the "ATR" button which stands for Automatic Tampon Remover... Your penis is under your pillow!" :cry: :blink:

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Menih in nuna sta skozi puscavo jahala kamelo. Nenadoma je kamela padla po

tleh in poginila. Menih in nuna sta ostala sama sredi puscave in se pomirila z

usodo, da bosta umrla na zgocem soncu. Pa se je oglasil menih:

"Nuna, ali ves, da jaz v zivljenju se nisem videl gole zenske. Zdaj,preden

umrem, pa sem si zazelel, da bi jo videl. Bi se ti slekla zame?"

"Zakaj pa ne!" je rekla nuna in slekla svoja oblacila, nato pa rekla:

"Tudi jaz se nisem videla golega moskega. Ali bi se hotel tudi ti sleci?"

"Seveda!" je rekel menih in slekel svoja oblacila.

Nuna ga je zacudeno ogledovala, nato pa vprasala: "Kaj pa je tisto med

tvojimi nogami?"

"To stvar mi je pa naredil Bog. Ce jo vtaknem vate, bo nastalo novo zivljenje!"

"Potem pa ga raje vtakni v kamelo, da bova lahko jahala naprej in si resila

zivljenje!"

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Za dug život trebate ostati u formi. Moja baka je u 60-oj počela hodati 10 km dnevno.

Danas ima 97 godina i nemamo pojma gde je.

Na 10.000 metara među putnike uđe pilot s padobranom i kaže:

"Dragi putnici, avion se zapalio, ali vi ništa ne brinite. Ja sad idem po vatrogasce!"

  • Ni mi všeč 2
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Things Geeks Say When Pulled Over for Speeding

11. Are you sure you're reading that right? 101 mph in binary is really only 5 mph.

10. I have to get home quickly. I think something terrible may have happened to my Uncle Owen and Aunt Baroo.

9. Actually Officer, in relativistic terms, we were all speeding.

8. It's the car, right? Chicks love the car.

7. Looking for Baal? BWAHAHAHA

6. Sorry, for a minute there I thought I was still playing GTA 3.

5. This is not the car you pulled over. *waves hand across body*

4. Only 95? I thought overclocking my car's computer would give me more speed than that.

3. Nasty little copss, we hatess them, don't we preciouss?

2. I don't have a driver's license. Will this MCSE diploma do?

1. How do you expect me to break the record for the Kessel run if you guys keep pulling me over?

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Žena, tam okoli 50 let, stoji naga v kopalnici,

pa stopi noter mož in reče:

O, jebemti, kaj se je pa zgodilo s tvojimi joški?

Žena ga pogleda in mu odgovori: Dolge si puščam.

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V nedeljo popoldan se je na urgenci pojavil mozakar in rekel doktorju:

"Doktor, ravnokar sem ugotovil, da imam tri jajca!"

Doktor je narocil pacientu naj se slece, nato pa ga je pretipal po jajcih

in ni nasel nic neobicajnega. Zato je odsel do svoje kolegice doktorice

in jo pozval,naj se ona pregleda pacienta. Tudi ona ga je pretipala

po jajcih, toda tudi ona ni nasla nic neobicajnega, zato je na pomoc

poklicala se medicinsko sestro, ki ga je prav tako pretipala. Tudi

ona ni nasla nicesar, zato mu je doktor koncno rekel: "Saj vi imate

vendar dve jajci,tako kot vsak normalen moski! Zakaj ste sploh prisel k

nam?"

"Veste, nedelja popoldan je. Sam sem doma, na televiziji je slab program, kino

renovirajo, na sprehod se mi ni ljubilo iti, zato sem si rekel: grem pa malo k

doktorjem, da mi zmasirajo jajca.

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