Drugi stosi......

[Jackal]

Zdravstveno osiguranje

Dodju dva pacijenta na operaciju testisa, udje medicinska sestra(plavusa, minica, ogromne sise, sve naj...)

i kaze - "zbog zahvata je potrebno prije operacije isprazniti sjemenovode...",

i zgrabi prvog za maloga i pocne masirat... pacijent sav zacudjen i sretan za par minuta (sekundi?!) gotov.I dodje red na drugoga... sestra skine frajera, skine se, napali ga, pocne mu lagano pusiti... i kratka je bila sreca onog prvog, pita ju "pa kako to sad njemu pusenje,a meni na brzaka..." veli sestra - "e, to je razlika izmedju regularnog i dopunskog zdravstvenog osiguranja". :)

[Gregs]

Kamion. Semafor. Plavusa sva zadihana kuca na prozor. Kamiondzija otvara, a plavusa govori: "Zdravo, zovem se Mirna, sve ti ispada nesto iz kamiona, gubis teret". Kamiondzija ne reaguje i nastavlja voznju.

Na sljedecem semaforu ista stvar. Kuca ona, kamiondzija otvara prozor, a plavusa sva zajapurena: "Zdravo, zovem se Mirna, sve ti bolan nesto ispada iz kamiona, sve ces prosuti". Kamiondzija opet ne reaguje i nastavlja voziti dalje.

Treci semafor i plavusa ponovo kuca. Kamiondzija vec vidno ljut otvara prozor, a plavusa vec na izmaku snaga ispaljuje rafal: "Zdravo ja sam Mirna, a tebi se sve nesto prosipa iz kamiona!"

A kamiondzija odgovara:" Zdravo ja sam Fikret, napolju pada snijeg i ja posipam sol pi*ka ti materina....??!!

[easyrider]

The difference between...

 ----------------------------            ---------------------------

 Drug dealers                      Software developers

 ----------------------------            ---------------------------

 

 Refer to their clients            Refer to their clients

 as "users".                       as "users".

 

 "The first one's free!"           "Download a free trial

                                          version..."

 

 Have important South-East         Have important South-East

 Asian connections                 Asian connections

 (to help move the stuff).         (to help debug the code).

 

 Strange jargon:                Strange jargon:

 "Stick"                           "SCSI"

 "Rock"                            "RTFM"

 "Wrap"                            "Packet"

 "E"                                 "C"

 "Stash"                           "Cache"

 "Drive by"                        "CTRL ALT DEL"

 "Hit (LSD)"                       "Hit (WWW)"

 "Source"                          "Source-code"

 

 Realize that there's              Realize that there's

 tons of cash in the               tons of cash in the

 14- to 25-year-old                14- to 25-year-old

 market.                               market.

 

 Your clients really like your      Your clients really like your

 stuff when it works. When it     stuff when it works. When it

 doesn't work they want to kill   doesn't work they want to kill

 you.                                       you.

 

 Job is assisted by the            Job is assisted by the

 industry producing                industry producing

 newer, more potent product.    newer, more potent products.

 

 Often seen in the company       Often seen in the company of

 of pimps, hustlers                marketing people, venture

 and low-lifes                     capitalists and fund managers.

 

 When things go wrong, a          When things go wrong, a

 "fix" is just a phone call            "fix" is just a phone call

 away but may be expensive      away but may be expensive

 

 A lot of successful people        A lot of successful people

 getting rich in this industry     getting rich in this industry

 while still teenagers               while still teenagers

 

 Their product causes              DOOM. Quake. SimCity.

 unhealthy addictions.             Duke Nukem 3D...

 

 Do your job well, and             Damn! Damn! DAMN!!!

 you can sleep with

 sexy movie stars who

 depend on you.