Motoštosi

[Nearrain]

Vaš šef Popravljeno November 4, 2003. Popravil Nearrain

[AlterMann]

Tajnica ima očitno druge kvalitete...

[AlterMann]

O, glej glej, saj naša je pa že doma...

[Kaiser]

-klik-

[Alla]

...

[bobek]

Chris with Dragon Breath at the Overlook during BRAG

[bobek]

In seveda posledica takega početja :lol1:

[bobek]

:devil:

[Kruse]

B)

[kekec III]

Srečata se debeli in suhi klop. Debeli klop vpraša suhega: "Kaj pa je s teboj,

da si tako suh? "Zapletel sem se v brado motorista, močno sem se moral držati,

pa še ozebline sem dobil!" je potožil suhi klop. "Veš kaj!" mu je predlagal

debeli klop, "dal ti bom nasvet! Pojdi v bar in se primi barskega stolčka.

Zvečer pridejo tja lepa dekleta in takrat se povzpni do dekletovega mednožja.

Tam ti bo toplo, pa še najedel se boš! "Po tednu dni sta se zopet srečala. Suhi

klop je bil še bolj suh kot prej. "Kaj pa je s teboj? Nisi poslušal mojega

nasveta?" "Sem!" je povedal suhi. "Povzpel sem se na stol, nato dekletu zlezel

v mednožje in tako prijetno toplo je bilo, da sem kar zaspal. Ko pa sem se

zbudil sem bil spet v motoristovi bradi!"

[zazy]

No pa se en...

[Killroy]

WHY MOTORCYCLES ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN (Brez zamere ženski populaciji motomarsa... :) )

Your motorcycle doesn't get upset when you forget it's birthday.

You don't have to talk to your motorcycle after you ride it.

You can choke your motorcycle.

Your motorcycle doesn't get mad when you ignore it for a month or so.

Motorcycles don't get jealous if you come home with grease under your fingernails.

Motorcycles don't snore.

Your motorcycle won't wake you up at 3:00 AM and ask you if you love it.

Your motorcycle won't leave you for another rider.

You don't have to pay child support / alimony to an ex-motorcycle.

If you say bad things to your Motorcycles,

you don't have to apologize before you can ride it again.

If your Motorcycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.

If your Motorcycle goes flat, you can fix it.

If your Motorcycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it.

If your Motorcycle is too loose, you can tighten it.

If your Motorcycle is too soft, you can get different shocks.

If your Motorcycle makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.

If your Motorcycle smokes, you can do something about it.

It's always OK to use tie downs on your Motorcycle.

Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride.

Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have ridden.

Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have.

Motorcycles don't care if you are late.

Motorcycles don't get pregnant.

Motorcycles don't have parents.

Motorcycles don't insult you if you are a bad rider.

Motorcycles don't mind if you look at other Motorcycles, or if you buy Motorcycle magazines.

Motorcycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.

Motorcycles last longer.

Motorcycles only need their fluids changed every 2,000 miles.

Motorcycles' curves never sag.

New Motorcycles must be asked for,

and if you don't want to pay for them, you don't get them.

When riding, you and your Motorcycle both arrive at the same time.

You can kick your Motorcycle to wake it up.

You can ride a Motorcycle as long as you want and it won't get sore.

You can ride a Motorcycle any time of the month.

You can share your Motorcycle with your friends.

You can't get diseases from a Motorcycle you don't know very well.

You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Motorcycle.

You don't have to convince your Motorcycle that you're a motorcyclist and that you think that Motorcycles are equals.

You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Motorcycle.

You don't have to take a shower before riding your Motorcycle.

You only need to get a new chain or belt for your Motorcycle when the old one is worn.

Your Motorcycle never wants a night out alone with the other Motorcycles.

Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Motorcycle after you dump it.

Your Motorcycle doesn't car what you're wearing when you take it out.

Only a few women will let you take them for a ride on another woman as a way of getting them warmed up.

Wearing two fresh rubbers makes riding a bike MORE enjoyable.

The rashes you get from motorcycles go away without those painful IM Penicillin shots.

One gets in no trouble for storing disassembled pieces of the motorcycle in the basement.

Disassembling the motorcycle is done out of pleasure rather than need.

Motorcycles always sound pleasant.

Unlike women FAT motorcycles aren’t cheap dates.

[Killroy]

MOTORCYCLE WISDOM OF THE ROADS

Midnight bugs taste best.

Saddlebags can never hold everything you want, but they CAN hold everything you need.

Home is where your bike sits still long enough to leave a few drops of oil on the ground.

The only good view of a thunderstorm is in your rearview mirror.

Bikes don't leak oil, they mark their territory.

Never mistake horsepower for staying power.

If you don't ride in the rain - you don't ride.

A bike on the road is worth two in the shed.

Young riders pick a destination and go. . . Old riders pick a direction and go.

A good mechanic will let you watch without charging you for it.

Sometimes the fastest way to get there is to stop for the night.

Winter is Nature's way of telling you to polish your bike.

Well-trained reflexes are quicker than luck.

The best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome.

A friend is someone who'll get out of bed at 2 am to drive his pickup to the middle of nowhere.

There's something ugly about a NEW bike on a trailer.

Practice wrenching on your own bike.

Never be ashamed to unlearn an old habit

Maintenance is as much art as it is science.

If you ride like there's no tomorrow - there won't be.

Gray-haired riders don't get that way from pure luck

There are drunk riders. There are old riders. There are NO old, drunk riders.

No matter what marquee you ride, it's all the same wind.

Only a Biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window.

[Killroy]

THE IDEAL WIFE

Honey, are you sure you have enough beer for tonight?

I love you working on the bike on Saturdays, we should do it together on Sundays?

Honey, I have decided to walk naked at home.

You are so sexy when you are hungry!

Sweetheart, what kind of brakes do you want me to buy for the bike?

Do you mind if we watch the game together tonight and finish a dozen of beers?

I am going to wash the bike!

No. No, No. I am changing the motor oil this time.

Forget about St Valentine we can go for a bike show instead.

Your mother is so much better than me.

That's enough! I don't wanna go for shopping anymore. We better stay home, rent some hot movies and ............I can invite my girlfriend to join us.

Listen, a new striptease bar just opened across the street. Why don't we go and take a look?

Honey, I just enrolled myself in yoga classes to learn how to put my legs behind my neck.

Only for you sweetheart.

[Zok]

:)

[Kruse]

...

[Kruse]

Q: How do you tell if a Harley rider has had sex?

A: His middle finger is clean.

Q: How is a Harley Davidson like an old dog?

A: If you leave them alone long enough, they'll both mark their territory.

Q: How is a Harley Davidson like an old dog?

A: They both like to ride in the back of pickup trucks.

Q: What is the difference between a Harley Davidson and an old dog?

A: The dog can get in the back of the pickup by itself.

Q: Why do Harley owners have tassels on their handlebars and clothing?

A: To be able to tell if they're moving or not !

Q: Why do harley riders never ride faster than 50mph???

A: Any faster and they can't see where the parts fell off.

Q: Why do harley riders chrome all their parts???

A: It makes them easier to spot on the side of the road.

Popravljeno December 8, 2003. Popravil Kruse

[Kruse]

Reasons why Harley riders don't wave at other bikers

_______________________________

They're way too cool to acknowledge any non-Harley riders.

They're too busy daydreaming about owning a real motorcycle.

Their engine is too weak to handle the added wind resistance of a waving hand.

The Rottie (in back of the pickup truck with the tied down Harley) is easily upset by rapid hand movements.

Are you kidding? Risk their lives trying to control a Harley with just one hand!

They're too busy humming "Born to be Wild" while fantasizing about being Peter Fonda or Dennis Hopper.

They're too busy figuring out how to pay for next order of genuine Harley accessories (including the "official" HD calculator needed to add up the cost).

If they really have to tell you, you won't understand anyway.

They can't see you because their half-shell helmet keeps falling down over their eyes.

They think we are actually trying to draw their attention to the parts falling off their bikes, and they are sick and tired of it.

[Kruse]

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[Kruse]

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[Kruse]

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[Kruse]

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[Kruse]

Ten MORE Reasons Why Harley Owners Won't Wave At Other Bikers

______________________________________________________

Afraid it will invalidate warranty.

Leather and studs make it too hard to raise arm.

Refuses to wave to anyone whose bike is already paid for.

Afraid to let go of handlebars because they might vibrate off.

Rushing wind would blow scabs off the new tattoos.

Angry because just took out second mortgage to pay luxury tax on new Harley.

Just discovered the fine print in owner's manual and realized H-D is partially owned by those rice-burner manufacturers.

Can't tell if other riders are waving or just reaching to cover their ears like everyone else.

Remembers the last time a Harley rider waved back, he impaled his hand on spiked helmet.

They're jealous that after spending $30,000,they still don't own a BMW K1200 LT

[Kaiser]

...

[rozi]

Doctor and HD Mechanic

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a

Harley, when he

spotted a world-famous heart surgeon in his shop. The heart

surgeon was waiting for the service manager to come take a

look at his bike. The mechanic shouted across the garage,

"Hey Doc, can I ask you a question?"

The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the

mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic

straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked,” So

Doc, look at this engine. I also can open it up, take

valves out, fix'em, put in new parts and when I finish, this

will work just like a new one. So how come I get a pittance

and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing

basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to

the

mechanic..... "Try doing it while it's running"